It Begins

Here we go, day one of sobriety. I'm sick, hungover, and sweating. I'm going to document how I make this change with hopes that maybe someone will make use of it. Or Hell, it doesn't even have to be about alcohol, maybe this will inspire any kind of change that you want to make in yourself.

Here are some reasons why I'm doing this.

1) There's serious history of alcoholism in my family on both sides. All the uncles on my mom's side have succumbed and passed on. It scares me.

2) My father is a drinker. I really don't want to be anything like him. Not to bash him, but he lives in a crappy apartment in the ghetto with his new family. I am certain he would be living better if he didn't use so much cash on beer and cigarettes. Don't get me wrong, he's not a big douche or anything. He's just kinda dumb.

3) I have done so much stupid shit while drunk, not all of them fun. The other night I hung out with people I had no business hanging out with (you know, gangster types). I don't want to be like them. It was stupid.

4) For whatever reasons, genetic or psychological, I just get so depressed after a night of drinking. It's very painful. I have this deep pain in my chest. It feels like my soul is aching. I don't know how to explain it.

5) I have a dream of completing the Ironman Triathlon someday. I can't really get in shape for it if I'm hungover all the time.

Now, of course there are a shit-ton of strategies and ways to go about changing yourself. I've quit on my own before but I want to try some of these other ways.

One of my biggest strategies is to not think about drinking. I also focus on not focusing on not drinking (haha). Because if you focus on not doing something, you're still focusing on it, using up your energy. So, when I start thinking like that I will probably call a friend or something, maybe even exercise. I will also have a therapist to speak too, should be nice.

Lot of what this guy says makes sense to me. I'm probably going to make small changes at first to get the ball rolling and get confidence.

Here's a couple things I thought of:

• I will probably delete crappy photos I have on FaceBook. I should try to look my best, even on the internet.
• I'm going to write more goals and stuff that I want to do.
• I will stop thinking about the girl I love. I'm not angry at her or anything, just angry at the circumstances. It hurts and it doesn't make me feel confident at all when I think of her. I will start thinking of the girls available, get to know them more.

That's it for now. Thank you all again for the support.

I am an alcohol and it's destroying my family.

The best way I have heard alcoholism described is that it's an allergy. Once I drink, I change and have trouble stopping. Fucking sucks too because I like to drink.

I'm gonna try the sober thing again, though. This also fucking sucks because I pretty much need to stay away from my drinking friends.

It's so annoying that other people can drink and be okay. My dumb ass acts all stupid and then gets depressed.

Anyhow, thanks for reading. I appreciate it. Gonna hit up your blogs soon. They better not suck!

To Hell with the movie, this damn song alone deserves a Nobel Prize!

You Have Failed Me

I didn't ask to be born.

I didn't ask for any of this.

But I understand. I am here. I can accept the responsibility of this life.

What I can't accept is your weakness. You deserve better. You always will.

I'm tired of it all.

I will be strong. It has been requested of me.

I'm not trying to bring anyone down. But we seem to be failing, every day and I don't like it.

I'm done with it.

I can accept this responsibility. I was born. I am here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you anymore. I'm going to teach you how to control it all. You're here too. You're like me. And I care about you.

I love you.

We have failed for a while now. I think we should move on. We deserve better. The next people deserve better.

Sam the Turtle

My girlfriend bought me a baby turtle for my birthday one year. He was beautiful, with the biggest round eyes and the cutest little beak. I named him Sam.

We lived together for many years, until my girlfriend broke up with me. It was a terrible split.

I couldn't stand to look at Sam anymore. He only reminded me of her. I decided that I would set him free. I drove to the beach and let him out. I was sure he would love it.

But as soon as I drove away, he began crawling to our home, which was 60 miles away!

He crawled through rain, snow, and blistering heat. He fought off many predators. He even had to inhale the pollution of cars.

Many days later, he arrived at my house. Onto the porch he climbed and I heard him knock.

I opened the door and was completely surprised. There was my turtle, beaten and broken.

I leaned in closer to hear him.

Exhausted and writhing in pain, he gasped, "I can't believe you've done this. You were my only friend."

And I stared down at him and said, "You never meant anything to me."

With tears in his eyes, he died in agony and I threw him in the dumpster.

-The End-

I will probably turn this into a (punk) folk song. Just gotta buy a banjo.

My Favorite Anime/Manga Series: Berserk

Now, I don't like much Anime. I find the stories to be just a little too ridiculous a lot of times. I mean, a 17-year-old with huge boobies fighting demons and such? Come on!

In fact, Berserk's story started out simple enough as well, but seems to be a little bat-shit crazy now. However, I think it deserves this honor for keeping my interest for as long as it has. Who knows why? It's probably because of the intense/demented gore and dark themes.

The whole thing is about a guy with a giant sword that would put Cloud Strife's to shame. He also has an anger problem (but I'm glad they decided not to call it "Big Sword, Anger Man"). It goes through his young life as a soldier, then all Hell breaks loose later as demons are released onto the Earth. And they mean business.

Unfortunately, the Anime wasn't popular enough and they stopped making them, but I think the Manga is still going (haven't caught up). There was even a game out for the Sega Dreamcast I believe.

I hope you like it. Should be easy enough to find on the internet, being a cult classic and all.

P.S. Got a girl's number from FaceBook. Thanks for all your support on that last post! :)

Artist of the Week: Right Away, Great Captain!

Finally, thank goodness, I've been keeping this guy a secret for too long.

I don't really feel good either. I told a girl that I've been friends with for more than 10 years that I won't do it anymore. We should be together - simple as that.I could love her more than anyone.

Go ahead and rush to her aid, white knights. But, I am not Beta.

"Let me love you."

How hard is that?

I miss her so much, but this is my stance.

The Upside

"All I ask is one thing, and I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch, please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen." ~ Conan O'Brien

This is a new piece I will incorporate more often, since the last one about the recession seemed to do well. As I'm trying to be more optimistic these days, I will try to think up positives of things the majority of us seem to dislike. This will also serve as a good mental/spiritual exercise for me.

Although it's a bit late, I will begin with Winter/cold weather:

• No Bugs - No more mosquito bites! No cockroaches! I fucking hate cockroaches.
• Winter Fashion > Summer Fashion (my opinion) - This is probably more for us guys. Sure girls get to be sexy and half-naked in the Summer but what do guys get? Jeans, shorts, t-shirts, BORING! Give me cool jackets, scarfs, hoodies, and caps! You can never go wrong with dark and mysterious.
• Burn Fat - If you exercise out in this stuff, not only does it offer a greater challenge, but you also burn more calories. Your body uses more energy to keep warm so you don't die. I wouldn't recommend this unless you're in decent shape though.
• Winter Sports/Activities - Snowboarding, skiing, sledding, igloos, snowmen, ice fishing, ice skating, rabbit hunting, etc.
• Hot Food - I really dislike hot foods during the Summer (makes me feel icky). Bring on the soups, chilies, gumbos, etc! And aren't they sooo nice after coming in from the cold?
• Indoor Stuff - Build a model, solve a puzzle, read, blog and shit!

That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure you can find other benefits of cold weather your damn self.

127 Hours: My Quick Review

This movie is about a guy who gets stuck in between a rock and a hard place out in the desert, literally. It stars James Franco (Spiderman, Pineapple Express) and was directed by Danny Boyle (28 Days Later, Slumdog Millionaire, Trainspotting).

Pros + and Cons -
+ Incredible, beautiful shots - I live near the desert and never have I seen it in such a light (how sad).
+ Flawless acting... FATALITY
+ Nerving/edgy - feels like you're stuck with him, which you are if you started the movie.
- The ending is known if you heard the true story already.
+ Trapped guy. What's he going to do??? Suspense!
+ Original

Overall Score: 8.5 - I thought an entire movie about a stuck guy would suck, but it was way good. It's also very brutal, physically and psychologically. I couldn't help but feel for the guy and hope something good happened. Give this movie a try. You might be splendidly surprised like I was.

Quick Review of Hachi: A Dog's Tale

This movie is about a dog that waits for his master at the train station every day, more of a family film. It was on Hulu and I didn't have anything better to do.

Pros + and Cons -
+ Decent actors doing decent work
- "Added drama" - obviously, a movie about a dog probably isn't too exciting in itself so they have to add drama, like the mom character acting like a bitch
+ "Awww..." Everyone loves dogs.
- Kinda uneventful

Overall Score: 6.5 - It was alright and interesting enough, good movie to watch with the wife and kids, 'cause we all know women and children are the only people that can enjoy this sorta thing. You can watch it at Hulu.

100 (+2)

Well, I made it to 100 followers. Some of you I am just now meeting; the rest of you, I already know. I just want to say to all of you that your blogs are horrible and you should be ashamed of yourselves. Nah, just playing, thanks everyone! Your blogs are actually interesting. When I first started doing this, I thought it was going to be really boring, but you guys have some good content to share!

Anyhow, congratulations to Mr. Raw for being my 100th, you win absolutely nothing! Huzzah! But his blog is nice and deserves a mention. afewgoodsites.blogspot.com has some great links and I'm sure there's more to come. Go check it out, follow, and leave comments until you border on harassment.

Other than that, here's an epic cool song:

Oh, and so you guys know, I probably will get more into this stuff. It will be like a third job for me. So email me the tips, even the questionable ones!

A Quick Review of Face/Off

I just finished watching last night's Conan and was pleasantly reminded about this movie (Nicholas Cage Threat Level). This movie is about a cop, Sean Archer, and his extreme dislike of a criminal, Castor Troy (WOOO!). Archer has to take Troy's identity in order to gain information of a bomb's whereabouts, which goes terribly awry but produces one of the greatest stories ever told.

Pros + and Cons -
+ Nicholas Cage and John Travolta in the prime of their lives and careers! Hell yeah!
+ Fashionable and sexy gunplay and cinematics (directed by John Woo)
- Cheesiness? You bet your ass!
+ Action-packed!
- How many bullets does a pistol hold?!?! And other shoddy stunts...
+ Nice music. Ready for the Big Ride Bubba is one of my all time favorite movie songs.
- Weak dialogue

Overall Score: 8.5 - One of the best films ever made. If one of you watches this because of my review, then it's all worth it. I hope you enjoy this classic as much as I did.

Ip Man - My Quick Review

Ip Man is based loosely on Bruce Lee's Wing Chun instructor and his plight during the Japanese siege. I think it's based very loosely at that, unless I'm mistaken. It's coincidental that I quoted Bruce Lee in my last post, by the way. This movie just happened to pop up on Hulu, which was rad because I've been meaning to check it out. Anyhow...

Pros + and Cons -
- Mild cheesiness, not as silly as the good ol' 90's though, and all Kung Fu movies must have some level of cheesiness
- Haven't we heard the "Japanese being jerks and Chinese fighting back" story enough? (Fearless, Chinese Connection/Fists of Fury, Fist of Legend, etc.) I'm sure the Japanese would appreciate it if we moved on.
+ Ip Man's third fight is absolutely goddamn brutal and well-worth the rest of the movie
+ Well choreographed - quick and fast-paced
- Not as much philosophy as I'd hoped (what's Kung Fu without philosophy?)
- Not too much of a story or villain
+ Acting isn't too bad
+ Main character is pretty inspiring, despite his lack of dialogue

Overall Score: I must say that I reviewed this for what it is - a goddamn Kung Fu movie! Fuck yeah! All Kung Fu movies have cheesiness, some bad acting, etc. So, this score is relative to others of the genre - 7.5.
Definitely worth watching at least once; Kung Fu/Wing Chun fans will probably like to watch it twice or thrice.

The Subconscious Mind

"Recognizing the influence of my subconscious mind over my power of will, I shall take care to submit to it a clear and definite picture of my major purpose in life and all minor purposes leading to my major purpose, and I shall keep this picture constantly before my subconscious mind by repeating it daily." ~ Bruce Lee

The subconscious is a very powerful thing. A huuuge amount of our thinking is subconscious. Example:

You try to remember the name of an actor that played in that great movie. The name is on the tip of your tongue but you just can't seem to grasp it. After a while, you give up and carry on with your day. Later, while talking about something completely unrelated with a friend, the name suddenly flashes within your mind. What happened?

When you gave up trying to remember the name consciously, your mind was still subconsciously searching! Awesome!

That being said, I think we should all educate ourselves a little more of something that plays such a big role in our daily life. There are also ways to "direct" our subconscious, such as self-subliminal messaging. There are a few software programs out there that will flash messages on your monitor for you (to boost confidence or whatever)! Hey, in our short time here on this earth, I say use whatever you can to get what you want. Let me know if you find one that is compatible with Vista (screw you, I'll switch to Linux later!).

Other cool Bruce Lee quotes are here.

Artist of the Week: Jizue

I don't normally listen to this kind of stuff, but this is pretty rad. I've noticed that it's nice to do chores to this music. I'm not sure why, but I think it has to do with the vibe. It's powerful music but it's not really angry or forceful. Anyway, I'm going to try something new. I'll use 10 words to describe the music or my impressions to the music.

Jizue in 10 Words:
Elegant
Methodical
Fast riffs
Great piano
Action
Movement
Thought-provoking

www.jizue.com