Just 'Cause

You don't have to read my blog. I can't really do this anymore, just don't have the time and I'm bored with the internets.

Gonna post this, in a foul mood.

It Begins

Here we go, day one of sobriety. I'm sick, hungover, and sweating. I'm going to document how I make this change with hopes that maybe someone will make use of it. Or Hell, it doesn't even have to be about alcohol, maybe this will inspire any kind of change that you want to make in yourself.

Here are some reasons why I'm doing this.

1) There's serious history of alcoholism in my family on both sides. All the uncles on my mom's side have succumbed and passed on. It scares me.

2) My father is a drinker. I really don't want to be anything like him. Not to bash him, but he lives in a crappy apartment in the ghetto with his new family. I am certain he would be living better if he didn't use so much cash on beer and cigarettes. Don't get me wrong, he's not a big douche or anything. He's just kinda dumb.

3) I have done so much stupid shit while drunk, not all of them fun. The other night I hung out with people I had no business hanging out with (you know, gangster types). I don't want to be like them. It was stupid.

4) For whatever reasons, genetic or psychological, I just get so depressed after a night of drinking. It's very painful. I have this deep pain in my chest. It feels like my soul is aching. I don't know how to explain it.

5) I have a dream of completing the Ironman Triathlon someday. I can't really get in shape for it if I'm hungover all the time.

Now, of course there are a shit-ton of strategies and ways to go about changing yourself. I've quit on my own before but I want to try some of these other ways.

One of my biggest strategies is to not think about drinking. I also focus on not focusing on not drinking (haha). Because if you focus on not doing something, you're still focusing on it, using up your energy. So, when I start thinking like that I will probably call a friend or something, maybe even exercise. I will also have a therapist to speak too, should be nice.

Lot of what this guy says makes sense to me. I'm probably going to make small changes at first to get the ball rolling and get confidence.

Here's a couple things I thought of:

• I will probably delete crappy photos I have on FaceBook. I should try to look my best, even on the internet.
• I'm going to write more goals and stuff that I want to do.
• I will stop thinking about the girl I love. I'm not angry at her or anything, just angry at the circumstances. It hurts and it doesn't make me feel confident at all when I think of her. I will start thinking of the girls available, get to know them more.

That's it for now. Thank you all again for the support.

I am an alcohol and it's destroying my family.

The best way I have heard alcoholism described is that it's an allergy. Once I drink, I change and have trouble stopping. Fucking sucks too because I like to drink.

I'm gonna try the sober thing again, though. This also fucking sucks because I pretty much need to stay away from my drinking friends.

It's so annoying that other people can drink and be okay. My dumb ass acts all stupid and then gets depressed.

Anyhow, thanks for reading. I appreciate it. Gonna hit up your blogs soon. They better not suck!

To Hell with the movie, this damn song alone deserves a Nobel Prize!

You Have Failed Me

I didn't ask to be born.

I didn't ask for any of this.

But I understand. I am here. I can accept the responsibility of this life.

What I can't accept is your weakness. You deserve better. You always will.

I'm tired of it all.

I will be strong. It has been requested of me.

I'm not trying to bring anyone down. But we seem to be failing, every day and I don't like it.

I'm done with it.

I can accept this responsibility. I was born. I am here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you anymore. I'm going to teach you how to control it all. You're here too. You're like me. And I care about you.

I love you.

We have failed for a while now. I think we should move on. We deserve better. The next people deserve better.

Sam the Turtle

My girlfriend bought me a baby turtle for my birthday one year. He was beautiful, with the biggest round eyes and the cutest little beak. I named him Sam.

We lived together for many years, until my girlfriend broke up with me. It was a terrible split.

I couldn't stand to look at Sam anymore. He only reminded me of her. I decided that I would set him free. I drove to the beach and let him out. I was sure he would love it.

But as soon as I drove away, he began crawling to our home, which was 60 miles away!

He crawled through rain, snow, and blistering heat. He fought off many predators. He even had to inhale the pollution of cars.

Many days later, he arrived at my house. Onto the porch he climbed and I heard him knock.

I opened the door and was completely surprised. There was my turtle, beaten and broken.

I leaned in closer to hear him.

Exhausted and writhing in pain, he gasped, "I can't believe you've done this. You were my only friend."

And I stared down at him and said, "You never meant anything to me."

With tears in his eyes, he died in agony and I threw him in the dumpster.

-The End-

I will probably turn this into a (punk) folk song. Just gotta buy a banjo.

My Favorite Anime/Manga Series: Berserk

Now, I don't like much Anime. I find the stories to be just a little too ridiculous a lot of times. I mean, a 17-year-old with huge boobies fighting demons and such? Come on!

In fact, Berserk's story started out simple enough as well, but seems to be a little bat-shit crazy now. However, I think it deserves this honor for keeping my interest for as long as it has. Who knows why? It's probably because of the intense/demented gore and dark themes.

The whole thing is about a guy with a giant sword that would put Cloud Strife's to shame. He also has an anger problem (but I'm glad they decided not to call it "Big Sword, Anger Man"). It goes through his young life as a soldier, then all Hell breaks loose later as demons are released onto the Earth. And they mean business.

Unfortunately, the Anime wasn't popular enough and they stopped making them, but I think the Manga is still going (haven't caught up). There was even a game out for the Sega Dreamcast I believe.

I hope you like it. Should be easy enough to find on the internet, being a cult classic and all.

P.S. Got a girl's number from FaceBook. Thanks for all your support on that last post! :)

Artist of the Week: Right Away, Great Captain!

Finally, thank goodness, I've been keeping this guy a secret for too long.

I don't really feel good either. I told a girl that I've been friends with for more than 10 years that I won't do it anymore. We should be together - simple as that.I could love her more than anyone.

Go ahead and rush to her aid, white knights. But, I am not Beta.

"Let me love you."

How hard is that?

I miss her so much, but this is my stance.

The Upside

"All I ask is one thing, and I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch, please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen." ~ Conan O'Brien

This is a new piece I will incorporate more often, since the last one about the recession seemed to do well. As I'm trying to be more optimistic these days, I will try to think up positives of things the majority of us seem to dislike. This will also serve as a good mental/spiritual exercise for me.

Although it's a bit late, I will begin with Winter/cold weather:

• No Bugs - No more mosquito bites! No cockroaches! I fucking hate cockroaches.
• Winter Fashion > Summer Fashion (my opinion) - This is probably more for us guys. Sure girls get to be sexy and half-naked in the Summer but what do guys get? Jeans, shorts, t-shirts, BORING! Give me cool jackets, scarfs, hoodies, and caps! You can never go wrong with dark and mysterious.
• Burn Fat - If you exercise out in this stuff, not only does it offer a greater challenge, but you also burn more calories. Your body uses more energy to keep warm so you don't die. I wouldn't recommend this unless you're in decent shape though.
• Winter Sports/Activities - Snowboarding, skiing, sledding, igloos, snowmen, ice fishing, ice skating, rabbit hunting, etc.
• Hot Food - I really dislike hot foods during the Summer (makes me feel icky). Bring on the soups, chilies, gumbos, etc! And aren't they sooo nice after coming in from the cold?
• Indoor Stuff - Build a model, solve a puzzle, read, blog and shit!

That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure you can find other benefits of cold weather your damn self.

127 Hours: My Quick Review

This movie is about a guy who gets stuck in between a rock and a hard place out in the desert, literally. It stars James Franco (Spiderman, Pineapple Express) and was directed by Danny Boyle (28 Days Later, Slumdog Millionaire, Trainspotting).

Pros + and Cons -
+ Incredible, beautiful shots - I live near the desert and never have I seen it in such a light (how sad).
+ Flawless acting... FATALITY
+ Nerving/edgy - feels like you're stuck with him, which you are if you started the movie.
- The ending is known if you heard the true story already.
+ Trapped guy. What's he going to do??? Suspense!
+ Original

Overall Score: 8.5 - I thought an entire movie about a stuck guy would suck, but it was way good. It's also very brutal, physically and psychologically. I couldn't help but feel for the guy and hope something good happened. Give this movie a try. You might be splendidly surprised like I was.

Quick Review of Hachi: A Dog's Tale

This movie is about a dog that waits for his master at the train station every day, more of a family film. It was on Hulu and I didn't have anything better to do.

Pros + and Cons -
+ Decent actors doing decent work
- "Added drama" - obviously, a movie about a dog probably isn't too exciting in itself so they have to add drama, like the mom character acting like a bitch
+ "Awww..." Everyone loves dogs.
- Kinda uneventful

Overall Score: 6.5 - It was alright and interesting enough, good movie to watch with the wife and kids, 'cause we all know women and children are the only people that can enjoy this sorta thing. You can watch it at Hulu.

100 (+2)

Well, I made it to 100 followers. Some of you I am just now meeting; the rest of you, I already know. I just want to say to all of you that your blogs are horrible and you should be ashamed of yourselves. Nah, just playing, thanks everyone! Your blogs are actually interesting. When I first started doing this, I thought it was going to be really boring, but you guys have some good content to share!

Anyhow, congratulations to Mr. Raw for being my 100th, you win absolutely nothing! Huzzah! But his blog is nice and deserves a mention. afewgoodsites.blogspot.com has some great links and I'm sure there's more to come. Go check it out, follow, and leave comments until you border on harassment.

Other than that, here's an epic cool song:

Oh, and so you guys know, I probably will get more into this stuff. It will be like a third job for me. So email me the tips, even the questionable ones!

A Quick Review of Face/Off

I just finished watching last night's Conan and was pleasantly reminded about this movie (Nicholas Cage Threat Level). This movie is about a cop, Sean Archer, and his extreme dislike of a criminal, Castor Troy (WOOO!). Archer has to take Troy's identity in order to gain information of a bomb's whereabouts, which goes terribly awry but produces one of the greatest stories ever told.

Pros + and Cons -
+ Nicholas Cage and John Travolta in the prime of their lives and careers! Hell yeah!
+ Fashionable and sexy gunplay and cinematics (directed by John Woo)
- Cheesiness? You bet your ass!
+ Action-packed!
- How many bullets does a pistol hold?!?! And other shoddy stunts...
+ Nice music. Ready for the Big Ride Bubba is one of my all time favorite movie songs.
- Weak dialogue

Overall Score: 8.5 - One of the best films ever made. If one of you watches this because of my review, then it's all worth it. I hope you enjoy this classic as much as I did.

Ip Man - My Quick Review

Ip Man is based loosely on Bruce Lee's Wing Chun instructor and his plight during the Japanese siege. I think it's based very loosely at that, unless I'm mistaken. It's coincidental that I quoted Bruce Lee in my last post, by the way. This movie just happened to pop up on Hulu, which was rad because I've been meaning to check it out. Anyhow...

Pros + and Cons -
- Mild cheesiness, not as silly as the good ol' 90's though, and all Kung Fu movies must have some level of cheesiness
- Haven't we heard the "Japanese being jerks and Chinese fighting back" story enough? (Fearless, Chinese Connection/Fists of Fury, Fist of Legend, etc.) I'm sure the Japanese would appreciate it if we moved on.
+ Ip Man's third fight is absolutely goddamn brutal and well-worth the rest of the movie
+ Well choreographed - quick and fast-paced
- Not as much philosophy as I'd hoped (what's Kung Fu without philosophy?)
- Not too much of a story or villain
+ Acting isn't too bad
+ Main character is pretty inspiring, despite his lack of dialogue

Overall Score: I must say that I reviewed this for what it is - a goddamn Kung Fu movie! Fuck yeah! All Kung Fu movies have cheesiness, some bad acting, etc. So, this score is relative to others of the genre - 7.5.
Definitely worth watching at least once; Kung Fu/Wing Chun fans will probably like to watch it twice or thrice.

The Subconscious Mind

"Recognizing the influence of my subconscious mind over my power of will, I shall take care to submit to it a clear and definite picture of my major purpose in life and all minor purposes leading to my major purpose, and I shall keep this picture constantly before my subconscious mind by repeating it daily." ~ Bruce Lee

The subconscious is a very powerful thing. A huuuge amount of our thinking is subconscious. Example:

You try to remember the name of an actor that played in that great movie. The name is on the tip of your tongue but you just can't seem to grasp it. After a while, you give up and carry on with your day. Later, while talking about something completely unrelated with a friend, the name suddenly flashes within your mind. What happened?

When you gave up trying to remember the name consciously, your mind was still subconsciously searching! Awesome!

That being said, I think we should all educate ourselves a little more of something that plays such a big role in our daily life. There are also ways to "direct" our subconscious, such as self-subliminal messaging. There are a few software programs out there that will flash messages on your monitor for you (to boost confidence or whatever)! Hey, in our short time here on this earth, I say use whatever you can to get what you want. Let me know if you find one that is compatible with Vista (screw you, I'll switch to Linux later!).

Other cool Bruce Lee quotes are here.

Artist of the Week: Jizue

I don't normally listen to this kind of stuff, but this is pretty rad. I've noticed that it's nice to do chores to this music. I'm not sure why, but I think it has to do with the vibe. It's powerful music but it's not really angry or forceful. Anyway, I'm going to try something new. I'll use 10 words to describe the music or my impressions to the music.

Jizue in 10 Words:
Elegant
Methodical
Fast riffs
Great piano
Action
Movement
Thought-provoking

www.jizue.com

The Mechanic: Quick Review

The Mechanic is about a contract killer that that trains a younger man to do the same. They kill a couple people then go after a big target, like other movies of the genre, but with a slight story twist.

Pro + and Cons - :
+ Some good gore shots, if you're into that kind of thing
- Not as much action as you'd expect (much less hand-to-hand combat) especially in a movie starring Jason Statham
- The sexuality does nothing for the story, besides maybe show that hitmen get lonely too. I would have preferred if that time was used on story/action.
+ I couldn't predict what was going to happen most times
- Not much clever dialogue, but I guess it's not a "smart" kind of film
+ Low cheesiness (unlike The Transporter)
+ Okay acting (Ben Foster is usually always good)
- Climax wasn't too climactic, but kinda cool
+ Minor twist at the end

Overall Score: 7.5 - It's a simple, action movie about contract killers. It has decent gunfights and explosions. I'm actually glad Hollywood still makes these. I'm a 90's kid. You get what you pay for. I liked it.

Artist of the Week: Bad Rabbits

Hey, sorry guys, I've been busy and haven't been able to keep up on your blogs. I'm in between living quarters at the moment. Also, I may be getting a job tomorrow!

But, I come baring gifts!

These guys are amazing. And this whole album is free at their MySpace page! Enjoy!

Again, sorry, but I'll be back reading and writing soon enough!

Ink - My Quick Review

In this movie, there are beings that create dreams for humans called Storytellers. And there are beings that create nightmares called Incubi. A small girl's soul/spirit/whatever is taken in her sleep by a Ink, a sort of lost being. This causes the girl to go into a coma in the human realm. The Storytellers try to catch Ink and save the girl while battling Incubi. The movie also follows the girl's father.

Pros:

• Very unique, poetic story of fantasy with interesting characters
• Pretty cool action/fight scenes
• One of the best musical scores I've ever heard
• Some beautifully shot scenes as well as some dark, scary ones
• Pretty deep, man

Cons:

• Some scenes could use better acting
• Can be confusing, doesn't explain some things well

Overall Score: 8/10 - This is one of my favorite movies. I recommend it to everyone. And guess what? It's on Hulu for free right here! Enjoy!

Pabst Blue Ribbon: Quick Review

I've heard strange things about this beer. A few times when I've bought it, someone has remarked much like, "You don't look like you drink that kind of beer, only poor, fat guys buy that." (I was blessed with a quick metabolism.) I've also heard that "hipsters drink that." Now, I don't like hipsters either, but that doesn't mean they can't appreciate PBR for what it is, an affordable, decent-tasting beer (of course, I've tasted way better).

Pros:

• Cheap! ($18 for a 30-pack, Hell yeah!)
• Decent taste, I would describe it as a lighter Budweiser
• It'll get you drunk!
• Another social thing is that a few people actually will think you're some sort of "badass" for drinking it

Cons:

• A little too light, if I drink it super fast, I run the risk of puking
• I get a metal taste in my mouth when I go through a lot of them, don't know if that's common
• It probably is fattening for those of you with slow metabolism
• Hard to find. I couldn't find it on a visit to California anywhere.
• Your recovering alcoholic friends can't have any
• May make you look like a cheap-ass scrub

Overall: I give this product a 7/10. It's affordable and will get you drunk after many bathroom breaks. Yes, if I was rich I would probably buy some of our more tasty local brews. Enjoy!

Prison, man...

I have this recently released convict cousin. He had some money saved for him when he got out of prison. He decided to buy a car (without a driver's license, of course). He decided to buy a Buick sedan - with 20" rims and a stereo system that was probably put together by a 13-year-old. The wheels couldn't even turn all the way because of the over-sized rims. One of the first things I said was, "You're going to get pulled over because they'll think you're driving drunk." He paid like 3k (USD) for that POS. And he went back to dealing drugs.

I can't begin to understand. I don't think I ever will. I guess if I had to ask, I would ask 3 questions:

1) Are you where you want to be in life?
2) Is what you do daily helping to get you where you want?
3) If not, then why not try something else?

Bottom line: Don't go to prison, folks!

The Upside of the Recession

Here are some positives of our declining job market and economy:

1) People work way harder because they don't want to lose their jobs. It's rare to get bad service these days. Walk into any fast food place and everyone there is hustling their asses off and everything is nice and clean. It's nice!

2) We value more. No more horrible spending for us! And once again we see that material possessions aren't everything and pull together.

3) We get creative. We find ways to save and make money, like blogging!

4) Lower property value - if you manage to land a career, now's the time to buy!

I know it's rough out there. I'm looking up jobs on craigslist now, as a matter of fact. But, always try to find the good in the bad.

Cartoon Public Service Announcements

What ever happened to these? Remember back when they had them all the time? All kinds of cartoons got in on the action. You don't see them anymore. Spongebob never tells us to stay in school. Samurai Champloo never encourages us to stay of drugs. I wonder why? Spongebob has to be worth at least $100 million right? So it can't be a money issue. Were they ineffective? Do cartoon developers no longer care? Maybe they just decided to leave it up to the parents.

My True Grit (2010) Quick Review

This movie is about a young girl that seeks revenge for the murder of her father through the use of a US Marshall. Does she find closure? Well why don't you watch it!

Pros:

• Superb acting all around
• Never a dull moment
• Lot's of good quips and one-liners
• Great atmosphere and some beautiful shots

Cons:

• Could have used more gunfights or action (in my opinion)
• Too short! A half hour of looking deeper into the characters couldn't have hurt.
• Not much of a villain, but this was probably done purposely. I assume it's more about the main players, the journey, not the destination.
• Not much on special effects or big stuff (a western done by the Coens, duh!) - This is also personal opinion. I don't regret watching this on the big screen, but with my limited funds I'm beginning to think that the theater experience might be better enjoyed with the big-budget heavy-hitters.

Overall Score: 8.5/10 - It's just a good movie. I will probably purchase it and that's saying a lot. Who buys movies anymore? *This review may be biased because I love the Coens' work.

Two Shows That Didn't Make It

I feel it is my duty to share these two amazing shows. There are not many episodes of either. They are freaking hilarious.

Cakey! The Cake From Outer Space

And:
Garth Marenghi's Dark Place

It's such a shame how awesome shows don't make it. It also sucks how great comedians always die all the time.

My Batman: R.I.P. Quick Review

Batman R.I.P. by Grant Morrison (2009 [yeah, it's older, GTFO]) isn't a bad read, perhaps not the best purchase for the price ($17); but I'd say it's a must-have for the fanboys. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who isn't familiar with the Batman universe. I'm familiar and even I was confused at times, but that could have just been the writing. Anyhow...

Pros:

• Decent artwork, great penmanship
• Very original with a story unlike most
• Opens a lot of good questions like "what-if"s
• Suspenseful, wasn't sure what to expect next, then a rewarding end

Cons:

• Confusing, hard to follow (extremely sometimes) because it jumps around
• Too many villains, none of them really have presence and aren't well-known
• Joker could have used a closer look
• Better novels for the price

Overall Score: 7.5 - Confusing, but a simple reread can clear that up, and it's nice to have a book that you can read through again and make a discovery. I don't think anyone would regret having this in their collection.

Musician of the Week: The Antlers

I just heard of these guys. I really like them. It's really mellow and haunting, no hipster (that's my version of "no homo"). This entire album, Hospice, is pretty sad. Their next album should be grand.

Lyrics (just in case):

With the door closed, shades drawn, the world shrinks.
Let's open up those blinds. But someone has to sweep the floor,
Pick up her dirty clothes. That job's not mine.
Now that everyone's an enemy, my heart sinks.
Let's put away those claws.
I don't blame them for their curtain-calls because I pulled the rope.
I wanna call them back out for applause.

Spring and Thompson on the first of May is horrible.
We hid in catacombs. So now I'm sleeping next to mousetraps,
In a bed of all our clothes, while I hope that she won't come home.
It was easier to lock the doors and kill the phones than to show my skin,
Because the hardest thing is never to repent for someone else,
It's letting people in.

Well, you can come inside, unlock the door, take off your shoes.
But this might take all night,
To explain to you I would have walked out those sliding doors,
But the timing never seemed right.
When your helicopter came and tried to lift me out,
I put it's rope around my neck.
And after that you didn't bother with the airlift or the rescue -
You knew just what to expect.

That with the door closed,
Shades drawn, we're dead enough.
They don't open from outside.
And someone has to speak with their teeth behind their tongue,
To never let that right be denied.
We can't rely on photographs and visitation time,
But I just don't know where to begin.
I wanna bust down the door,
If you're willing to forgive.
I've got the keys, I'm letting people in.

Don't be scared to speak,
Don't speak with someone's tooth,
Don't bargain when you're weak,
Don't take that sharp abuse.
Some patients can't be saved, but that burden's not on you.

Don't ever let anyone tell you you deserve that.

http://www.antlersmusic.com

An Embarrassing Story

On my way through the checkout at Wal-Mart one evening, a very attractive girl from high school was working the register. She had long, red hair, legs up to her chin with a decent level of thickness, and she would dress "punk" a lot - really hot. Anyhow, I get up there, everything gets scanned, and then my goddamn nose starts bleeding! I had to plug it with one hand and fumble cash with the other!
She asked if I was okay. I said "yes," paid for everything, then walked hurriedly to the restroom to take care of it. It sucked big time.

My Green Hornet (2011) Review

This wasn't a bad flick, but I wish I would've waited for it to hit dollar theaters, to be honest. Keep in mind, I'm not a Hornet fanboy. I hate writing long reviews more than I hate reading them. So...

Pros:

• A few decent laughs (of course), definitely should be a lot funnier to people with easier senses of humor
• A few cool fight scenes, choreography better than most
• Pretty steady, no big lull where you feel like taking a nap

Cons:

• Simple storyline (masked crime fighter movie, what'd you expect?)
• Though played by a great actor, the villain isn't a great source of suspense
• Seth Rogen plays Seth Rogen, just like Robert Downey Jr played Robert Downey Jr in Iron Man

Overall:

I'd give it a 7/10; watchable, amusing, but not great. Unless you're rich or a fanboy, wait for it to come out in the dollar theater.

You Have No Personality

The following ideas were taken from Reinventing Yourself: How to Become the Person You've Always Wanted to Be by Steve Chandler, an amazing and easy read.

Basically, what it says is that there is no such thing as personality, only choice. You can be anything you want. You can be confident. You can be joyful. When someone does something inconsiderate, you can choose to become angry or let it slide.

Please realize this is only a short summary on the subject, but think about it. If you get and angry and say, "Oh, that's just the way I am." then isn't personality just a reaction due to precondition? And if this "personality" is just a reaction, then how much of our lives do we spend reacting?

I'm not trying to scare anyone or hurt feelings, but really, it's all choice. We are all very talented, very capable beings. We should choose to believe that.