Friday, February 18, 2011

It Begins

Here we go, day one of sobriety. I'm sick, hungover, and sweating. I'm going to document how I make this change with hopes that maybe someone will make use of it. Or Hell, it doesn't even have to be about alcohol, maybe this will inspire any kind of change that you want to make in yourself.

Here are some reasons why I'm doing this.

1) There's serious history of alcoholism in my family on both sides. All the uncles on my mom's side have succumbed and passed on. It scares me.

2) My father is a drinker. I really don't want to be anything like him. Not to bash him, but he lives in a crappy apartment in the ghetto with his new family. I am certain he would be living better if he didn't use so much cash on beer and cigarettes. Don't get me wrong, he's not a big douche or anything. He's just kinda dumb.

3) I have done so much stupid shit while drunk, not all of them fun. The other night I hung out with people I had no business hanging out with (you know, gangster types). I don't want to be like them. It was stupid.

4) For whatever reasons, genetic or psychological, I just get so depressed after a night of drinking. It's very painful. I have this deep pain in my chest. It feels like my soul is aching. I don't know how to explain it.

5) I have a dream of completing the Ironman Triathlon someday. I can't really get in shape for it if I'm hungover all the time.

Now, of course there are a shit-ton of strategies and ways to go about changing yourself. I've quit on my own before but I want to try some of these other ways.

One of my biggest strategies is to not think about drinking. I also focus on not focusing on not drinking (haha). Because if you focus on not doing something, you're still focusing on it, using up your energy. So, when I start thinking like that I will probably call a friend or something, maybe even exercise. I will also have a therapist to speak too, should be nice.

Lot of what this guy says makes sense to me. I'm probably going to make small changes at first to get the ball rolling and get confidence.

Here's a couple things I thought of:
  • I will probably delete crappy photos I have on FaceBook. I should try to look my best, even on the internet.
  • I'm going to write more goals and stuff that I want to do.
  • I will stop thinking about the girl I love. I'm not angry at her or anything, just angry at the circumstances. It hurts and it doesn't make me feel confident at all when I think of her. I will start thinking of the girls available, get to know them more.
That's it for now. Thank you all again for the support.


  1. I should probably change my blog name too. I don't need to be reading that I live in an unforgiving place all the time, lol.

    I think I just used it to be ironic, 'cause the layout is all pretty.

  2. Good luck on your journey! My mom recently gave up drinking; she joined AA.

    She really has become involved in it and now chairs the local Sunday meetings. It's been about 4 months and she's happier than she's ever been.

    It's going to be hard, but it will be worth it.
    My blessing to you and your family :)

  3. Time to delete Facebook and alcoholism.

    You can be the first of you family to end the cylce

    Go hard!

  4. wow dude I can relate to your post 100%
    I'm meant to be going out tonight with some mates... I know I'll end up drinking too much and I've also got to go out on the bike tomorrow to put in a 50mile training ride...
    Beer and Training don't mix - keep up the dream of the triathlon though...!

  5. i stopped drinking for 2 weeks then my parents bought me a bottle of patron. i won't ever live in an apartment i consider crappy or smoke inside though.

  6. your one your way dude, good luck.

  7. good for you. i had to quit some pretty bad addictions myself, and it can be hard at first but it gets easier if you can stick with it.

    support groups can be good even if you don't want to work the 12-steps. sometimes it can just be helpful to have a stranger to talk to who will understand what you're going through and maybe have some advice. A.A. might be worth checking out.

  8. Everybody in my family drinks but the idea of me drinking disgusts me. I wish you luck

  9. Best of luck! You'll get there one day.